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On a Warped Tour bill full of pale, fragile emo kids, Throwdown stick out like a sore thumb attached to a swollen, bloody fist. The Orange County bruisers are about to unleash a new disc, Venom & Tears, that sounds like Gatling guns firing during a Pantera concert. Frontman Dave Peters says he’s glad to be the most metal band on the tour.

In Peters’ view, the punk fest’s 2007 crowds consist of “these casual music fan. And I think the heavier bands on this tour are potentially turning them on to metal and hardcore. Like when I was a kid and listening to whatever was on the radio. And then you come across something heavier, and it leads you to potentially listening to a Metallica record. It’s cool playing to those kids, because they sort of stare at you, but you feel like you’re doing something right.”

So if your girlfriend’s dragging you to the tour and making you watch Alkaline Trio, Throwdown’s your best chance to blow off some steam. Keep visiting C-Notes all week for more Warped extras. -- D.X. Ferris

It’s been nine months since the statewide smoking ban passed, but some bar owners have yet to get over it. Count Johnny Tedeschi, owner of Johnny Rotten’s in Middleburg Heights, as leader of the resistance movement. In the window in front of his bar, Tedeschi keeps a running tally of all the clubs closed since the bans passed. He doesn’t say from where he’s gathered his data, so it’s probably from the Association for Statistics Made Up By Guys Named Johnny, a very reliable organization operated out of Johnny Rotten’s handicapped stall.

Here, according to the sign in Tedeschi’s window, is the latest bar death toll, here and elsewhere:

26 Ohio bars gone now due to smoking ban.
Ireland: 5
New York: 41
Minnesota: 17
Canada: 56

-- Rebecca Meiser

Alinea Chef Grant Achatz

In May, groundbreaking Chicago chef Grant Achatz (Alinea) beat out our own Michael Symon for the James Beard Foundation’s title of Best Chef in the Great Lakes. Now, sadly, the nationally acclaimed culinarian is fighting a real-life battle. Achatz, 33, announced last week on foodie forum eGullet that he has been diagnosed with Stage 4 Squamous Cell Carcinoma of the mouth.

Achatz and his doctors are optimistic he can beat the disease, and, for now, Alinea remains open for business -- which is good news for local foodies. Alinea, with its groundbreaking menu of “molecular gastronomy,” has become one of the top destinations for Cleveland-area food fans headed to the Windy City -- including this food fan.

For more on Achatz’ condition, read Phil Vettel’s story in the Chicago Tribune. -- Elaine T. Cicora

Where will acts like Guided By Voices -- not to mention drunks like C-Notes -- take refuge when the Spider shuts its doors?

The Lime Spider announced last week that it would close its doors in September . It's difficult to measure the degree to which this news sucks.

For six years, the club has been a mainstay for Akron’s independent music scene. Its stage has played home to scores of local and national acts, including Guided By Voices, Houseguest, Machine Go Boom, the National, Calvin Johnson, the Black Angels, Gil Mantera’s Party Dream, Deerhoof, Jerry Casale of Devo, the Difficult, Tin Huey, the Black Keys, Beaten Awake, Party of Helicopters, Teeth of the Hydra, Pat Sweeney, Jonathan Richman, Mary Timony, and the Strange Division. The list goes on, and doesn’t even include the many more unmentionable drunks to whom the bar has kindly played host.

Danny Basone, the bar’s owner, told Akron Beacon Journal’s Malcolm X Abram that the club had fallen on hard times. Basone says he’d been dealing with declining audiences, break-ins, and low bank funds for a while, and that it was finally time to move on:

‘‘Our whole thing is in the last year, the music scene has taking a (decline) in my opinion, and the small national bands we were getting are now just going directly to Cleveland," Basone said Thursday afternoon at the club, shortly after discovering the bar had been broken into again. ‘‘The last straw has basically been getting turned down for holds on shows or seeing that the Beachland got a show we were holding."

Before the Lime Spider opened, Akron had few venues fit for cutting-edge indie acts from around the globe. Thanks to Basone and his crew, the Akron music scene also had a proper place to foster its burgeoning bands.

Which leaves everyone wondering where the scene will call home come September. The Matinee, located in Akron’s Highland Square, has been putting on shows every Wednesday in recent months, but they don’t have the sound system nor the capacity that the Spider boasts. Others are pointing to Anabelle’s, another Highland Square haunt, whose new owners are busy cleaning up its basement in hopes of becoming the new refuge for Akron acts.

Meanwhile, the Lime Spider’s planning its last official show, scheduled for September 8, with a that bill includes Radar Secret Service. Until then, sweet Spider, we’re preparing for a long, emotional, SoCo-aided farewell. Needless to say, we will sorely miss your $1.75 Pabst Tall Boys, DJ Forrest on the patio, and members of Beaten Awake passed out in your stairwell. – Denise Grollmus

In a battle for first place in the Who Can Gouge Their Customers More Division, the Cleveland Cavaliers yesterday sued Ticketmaster -- traded on the New York Stock Exchange as ANTI-CHRIST -- alleging "anti-competitive and monopolistic practices."

At issue is the Cavs' Flash Seat program -- aka "scalping operation" -- which allows ticketholders to resell unused ducats through the team. Content no longer to gouge you for $30 nosebleed seats and $6 beers, the franchise is hoping to horn in on the scalping business, formerly operated by Guys on the Sidewalk.

But the team faces a formidable foe in Ticketmaster, a company with a storied history of ripping off its customers. For example, four tickets to the Indians sold through Ticketmaster will run you $22.85 in "convenience charges," "order processing charges," and "international will call" charges. Though scientists have spent years attempting to decipher what these fees actually mean, they're believed to stem from the Latin phrase, "Hand over the money or we shoot the kid."

According to the suit, Ticketmaster's contract precludes individual teams from entering the scalping market, since it's trying to monopolize that market itself. The Cavs believe this is way unfair. Ticketmaster responded by saying, "What did they expect when they got into business with people like us?"

Reached in Heaven, a spokesman for God declined comment, other that to say both parties deserved each other. -- Pete Kotz

Ryan Adams and the Cardinals rock the Lakewood Civic on Oct. 27.

The hits keep comin': 40 new shows this week. Former Mushroomhead frontman J. Mann and dancer Roxxy reunited with the masked assault-metal squad for an old-school show. Alt-country troubador Ryan Adams (not the “Summer of ’69” guy). Hank Williams III with a heavy metal set. Black metal from King Diamond. Girl metal from Kittie. And the Dropkick Murphys, the band that played the hard-hitting song that rolled over the opening credits of The Departed. And so much more. Read on to get the full line-up ...

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The Almost -- Underoath singer Aaron Gillespie’s solo project-turned-full-on band -- was scheduled to play the Warped Tour Thursday, August 2. Underoath is still on the bill, but the Almost won’t be playing.

If you’re keeping track, that’s the second time the group has bailed on Cleveland: They canceled an Agora show this spring at the last minute; promotion for the Southern Weather album kicked into overdrive, and the group was caught up in NYC.

But fear not. If you missed this week’s This Just In concert announcements, you can relax knowing the band is scheduled to play the House of Blues Friday, August 31. Until now, you can enjoy the video for “Say This Sooner,” one of the great singles to emerge from the emo generation.

Keep visiting C-Notes all week for more Warped extras. -- D.X. Ferris

Portage County’s never exactly been a hotspot for tourism. The county seat, Ravenna, was once where the Army made World War II’s best TNT. To this day the plant’s contaminated, but still standing, wisely, while the feds try to clean it up.

But the Bigfoot Field Research Organization says Portage County is first in Ohio with 13 reported encounters with the big, hairy fella. Neighboring Geauga County has seven, including an alleged sighting last year by a family still looking for their cat.

That makes the area prime hunting space for the Ohio Bigfoot Organization, whose members venture deep into the forests about twice a month to investigate sightings, noises, footprints, pretty much anything to feed the chase.

Most accounts, say founder Paul Mitchell, come from jokesters and whack jobs. They tell him they’re living Harry and the Hendersons, or that they shot one and won’t give up the body until enough money’s wired to their Swiss bank account. “A big part of the job is just weeding that out,” he says.

But a tiny percentage yields the base of squishy evidence which sustains the hunt. Mitchell himself gushes over tales of huge beds of matted brush, and farmers catching eight-foot apelike beings plundering their apple trees. “It may not be too long now,” he says.

He became interested in Bigfoot two years ago. On a camping trip in Guernsey County, he was jerked awake before sunrise by a deep, unfamiliar howling sound. He followed it for several minutes until it died out. “It was so loud,” he says. “There was no way it could have been a man.” He discovered similar recordings on the BFRO website, and has been on the trail ever since.

“Talk to the park rangers,” says Mitchell. “They’ll tell you they’re there.” -- Jason Nedley

Brady Quinn to Browns: “Chuckie Frye comes cheap. Beefcake like this don’t.”

C-Notes thinks Sports Illustrated’s Peter King is the best writer pro football’s ever had, though we’re not crazy about his indulgent tendency to grade training-camp food. Still, for the record, he dug our chow. “If only the Browns played as well as they cooked,” he wrote.

Here’s another tasty morsel from his trip to Browns camp:

I think the Brady Quinn holdout is one of the dumbest holdouts in NFL history. And that's really saying something, given the idiocy of some of these work stoppages we've seen recently. The Browns and Tom Condon, Quinn's agent, have just about reached an agreement on the overall dollars and package -- now it's haggling over guarantees, many of which Quinn is going to receive regardless of how well or poorly he does, since this team is not going to cut the golden boy quarterback after a crummy year or two. Sometimes holdouts make sense, sometimes they’re stupid. This one is definitely the latter.

Speaking, also, of stupid: Jacksonville just signed Tim Couch. Let the buyer beware. - Jason Nedley

Paramore gets their brood on at the Warped Tour, Thursday.

Monday: The Cleveland Botanical Garden’s A Taste of Tuscany loads up on Italian flavors with a smorgasbord of special exhibits, displays, and programs. The showpiece is a horticultural show featuring fountains, statues, and lots of exotic plants. A photo exhibit, Giardini di Toscana, includes 50 color pics of Italian gardens and villas. And the venue’s café serves rosemary- and garlic-flavored dishes throughout the exhibition’s three-month run. That’s-a good!

Tuesday: The unlikely pairing of Marilyn Manson and Slayer on the road this summer has metal fans stumped. Slayer is one of the most real bands in the game; Manson is, well, Manson. Still, the ear-bleeding potential is paramount. They play Tower City’s Time Warner Cable Amphitheater.

Wednesday: It seems that Ted Leo & the Pharmacists have been on the road every single day since their 2003 breakthrough, Hearts of Oak. Every once in a while, they get around to releasing a pretty good album too – like the new Living With the Living. Leo brings his mix of old-school punk and pop anthems to the Beachland.

Thursday: The Vans Warped Tour comes to Tower City’s Time Warner Cable Amphitheater today. There’s gonna be more bands there than you can possibly see. Try not to miss Paramore , a young Tennessee band led by the spunky Hayley Williams. Their new album, Riot!, rocks.

Friday: Allegro starts off as a pretty conventional love story between an ambitious pianist and a woman he meets after he locks himself out of his apartment. But within 20 minutes, this terrific film takes a wide turn. The woman leaves the brilliant but emotionally detached musician during a recital. Soon after, their Copenhagen neighborhood becomes mysteriously surrounded by an impenetrable force field, sealing off from the rest of the world. It’s a mind-fuck on the scale of Kubrick’s best. It screens at the Cleveland Cinematheque tonight and Sunday. -- Michael Gallucci

(Above: Slayer performs the Grammy-winning single "Eyes of the Insane" on the Jimmy Kimmel show. For Cleveland, expect a different production and a way bigger pit.)

Slayer and Marilyn Manson play Time-Warner Amphitheater at Tower City Tuesday, July 31. Bleeding Through opens the show at 7 p.m. Slayer and Manson will co-headline. Both will play 70-minute sets. Slayer's set to take the stage at 8 p.m. Manson -- who discovered Slayer at a Quonset Hut when he was a pubescent young lad in Canton -- should hit he stage 9:40-ish.

“People ask me how I think this tour is going to go," Slayer guitarist Kerry King told Scene this week . "And it depends what Manson brings to the party. He could play a set from Holy Wood on, or mix it up and hit the whole audience. We [just saw the band] at a festival. Four songs in, they played the song I wanted to see, 'Irresponsible Hate Anthem.' And I'm like, 'Cool, I can leave now.'"

Funny he should mention it ... Scene has set lists from both bands. Manson's heavy on material from his tepid new disc, but he's playing his seminal nu-metal rippers too. Read on to check out both set lists.

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*In which one of 97^ bands playing one of the Vans Warped Tour’s 36^ stages explains why you should find them on the schedule.)

^Exaggerated figures. But trust us: it's damn big.

Band: The High Court
Web: MySpace.com/thehighcourt
Hometown: Mt Holly, NJ
Sounds like: “80's style riffage, complete with guitar solos. Powerful vocals with a tinge of Queen and Marvelous 3.”
Fun fact: “We all are huge fans of hardcore and metal, except for JB, who wears his earplugs in the van because he can't stand the brutality.”
Playing: Thursday, August 2 at the Vans Warped Tour, at the Kevin Says Stage. Time Warner Cable Amphitheater at Tower City, 351 Canal Rd.
Why you need to see them: “’Cause you need to rock your face off and dance your ass off as you prepare to overdose on the best rock, pop, and punk bands the world has to offer.”

-- Mike, guitarist/roach exterminator

Visit C-Notes all week for more Warped extras.

In a cramped living room in Gates Mills, about 30 of Laurel Johnson’s family and friends gathered around the screen to watch the premier of the new Spike TV’s show The Kill Point, a series about a group of U.S. soldiers who decide to pull off a huge bank heist.

Johnson, a bubbly, blonde Brandeis graduate, is one of three Cleveland actors appearing in the show, which stars former New Kids on the Block Donnie Wahlberg.

The native Clevelander, who plays Wahlberg’s pregnant wife, didn’t actually appear in the first episode, but no one in the room seemed particularly bothered by that small fact. At the very end of the show, a camera panned to Donnie making a discreet phone call to Johnson. He seemed very deep in conversation, but the audience couldn’t hear what Johnson was saying. Nevertheless, when the phone call ended, everyone in the room cheered.

“Why are you applauding?” Johnson asked confused. “It’s clear that you are a very great listener,” they told her.

Johnson spent two days in Pittsburgh filming her scenes. She was very impressed by the “whole Hollywood” experience. Before The Kill Point, her only other screen credit was as an extra in The Devil Wears Prada. But what surprised her most was the food.

“I walked on set, and [an assistant] asked if I wanted breakfast. I said ‘What do you have?’ and she’s like ‘everything.’ She started listing all these things; french toast, pancakes, omelet’s. I said, um, I’ll have eggs and bacon, please. .. The food was impeccable.”

As for Johnson’s impressions of Wahlberg: “He’s so funny, like, a total goofball. He was always joking, always in a good mood. I’d catch his eye and he’d wink at me. . . He’s just as cute as Mark and a whole lot taller.”

You can catch Johnson in person next in Some Girl(s) at the Bang and Clatter Theatre on August 10. – Rebecca Meiser

Plain Dealer Editor Susan Goldberg,

The Plain Dealer has editorially endorsed and again slanted its news coverage for the Cuyahoga County sales tax increase for a medical mart and convention center. The most recent example is the July 28 Saturday Plain Dealer article titled "Petitions for vote on sales tax."

Of course you could not ignore this news, since the Cleveland TV stations and radio stations have been broadcasting this news since Wednesday that Zack Reed and others will try to get enough petition signatures to put the county sales tax increase on the ballot. So finally you published this very important news July 28, but only as ONE PARAGRAPH to try to minimize it, rather than the full-length so-called news stories you have publihed in the past few weeks, in which The Plain Dealer has promoted the medical mart, and a new convention center and county sales tax increase to pay for both, as corporate welfare.

It is a catastrophe for Greater Cleveland that you became editor of the Plain Dealer, as your misleading editorials and slanted news reporting for this sales tax increase shows. A lot of pro-sales tax propaganda by your newspaper.

You are fortunate that the alternative news media in town, scant and sleepy as it is, have virtually ignored this big issue and the Plain Dealer's slanted coverage of it. When and if they wake up, they will run you out of town. You are lucky that the weekly Sun newspapers of Greater Cleveland are owned by the same putrid company that owns the Plain Dealer.

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A heroic zoo-keeper tried to save the kangaroo, but it died in Borat's arms, which was weird.

Tuesday was a dark day at the Metropark Zoo. A 1-year-old red kangaroo, just chillin’ on some train tracks, was rammed by the Boomerang Express, a 65-foot train that hauls people around the Australian Adventure section, which is just like the real Land Down Under, only the kangaroos are smaller and get killed by trains.

The conductor, a seasonal employee on the job since March, said he didn’t see the approximately 3-foot, 25-pound marsupial, said zoo spokeswoman Sue Allen. Neither did a volunteer who was supposed to be acting as a spotter.

Their apparent inattentiveness led to the kangaroo’s death. She was euthanized shortly after being hit. The conductor was fired and the volunteer was reassigned to a job that doesn't include the highly technical task of seeing things.

The train has been running since 2000. There were four accidents prior to this one, but none were serious enough to cause death, Allen said.

But the story doesn’t end there. It never does when PETA is around.

Hit one kangaroo, that’s an accident. Hit two and it’s a pattern of cruelty, says PETA, which is still figuring out how it can incorporate naked chicks into its latest crusade. The animal rights group is calling the U.S. Department of Agriculture to launch a full investigation into the zoo.

Meanwhile, the Boomerang Express remains inactive. Zoo officials decided to stop the ride until new measures were implemented to prevent any more senseless kangaroo deaths, including the construction of a 4-foot fence around the train tracks. -- T.K. Kim